We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize
