I hate all girls vehemently.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
