Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
