My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
