How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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