Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
