I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize