My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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