Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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