i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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