My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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