We're facebook friends in real life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
