You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
