I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
