you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
