We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
