Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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