I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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