would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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