hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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