bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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