So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
