Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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