I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize