Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Are my feet made of real feet?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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