Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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