I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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