just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
