my vag is so smooth its legendary
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
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and then he started using my ass as a stressball
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
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I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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