you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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