So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
