I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
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He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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