Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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