Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
