my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
