i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
