I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize