that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
