Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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