She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
