its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
