Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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