She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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