I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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