The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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