She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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