How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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