Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
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You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
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Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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