There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
