I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
