I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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