He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
