its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
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Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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