I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
