with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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