There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize