I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
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I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
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Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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