I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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