She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
